This is a post completely dedicated to some of my favorite quotes from my favorite theoretical physicist: Dr. Sheldon Cooper. The wording my not be completely correct as I did this mostly from memory. Don’t kill me on whether the wording is exact. If you don’t know the context of a quote I strongly suggest you Youtube it. Enjoy:)

First, a classic.:”Bazinga!”

“Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr.”

“If I’d had a million guesses I never would’ve guessed that.”

“I need to find where in this swamp of unbalanced formulas squateth the toad of truth.”

Leonard: “Any ideas?”
Sheldon: “Yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring!”

Bazinga, punk now we’re even!”

“I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested.”

“She’s a girl. She’s my friend. She is not my girlfriend.”

“Sheldon Cooper, an actual real scientist.”

“When I myself try to deceive, I have more tics than a Lime Disease research facility.”

There, there. Sheldon’s here.”

Mrs. Cooper: “Why’d you buy the loom, honey?”
Sheldon: “I was working with luminous fish, and I thought hey… loom.”

“This isn’t a serape, this is a poncho. A serape is closed on the sides, a poncho is open, ergo this is a poncho. And neither is a reason to call someone’s mother!”

Amy: “Are you familiar with meme theory?”
Sheldon: “I’m familiar with everything, but go on.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“His exact words were: ‘Got your back, Jack. Bitched be crazy.'”

“I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much more.”

“Nobody calls me Moonpie, but Memaw.”

Sheldon: “You’re not going to die alone.”
Leonard: “Thank you, Sheldon.”
Sheldon: “You’re certainly not going to win a nobel prize.”

“She calls me Moonpie because I’m nummy nummy, and she could just eat me up.”

“I’m going to my room, and NOBODY’S ALLOWED IN!”

Sheldon: “Howard, your shoes are delightful. Where did you get them?”
Howard: “What?”
Sheldon: “Bazinga, I don’t care.”

“What fresh hell is this?”

“What exactly does that mean, friends with benefits? Does he provide her with health insurance?”

“You haven’t fallen hopelessly in love with me?”

Leonard: “How did you get in here?”
Sheldon: “Backdoor has a five pin tumbler system, single circuit alarm system, child’s play.”

“I tried to scare an indian with a snake. You’re better than that, Cooper.”

“I’m Batman. SHHHHHH!!!”

Oh there’s my missing neutrino. You were hiding from me, you little subatomic dickens.”

“Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Purell. Purell. Purell. Purell.”

Leonard: “You hacked my Facebook account?”
Sheldon: “You can hardly call it hacking when you use the same password for everything, kalel.”

“If I’m permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win.”

“You were right, the tiara was too much.”

Leonard: “We don’t need strength, we’re physicists. We are the intellectual descendents of Archimedes. Give me a lever and a fulcrum and I can move the world. We – I don’t have this! I don’t have this!”
Sheldon: “Archimedes would be so proud.”

“It is a pleasure to watch your mind at work.”

You’re the milk thief!”

“Penny, I understand that you are also alone tonight, so if you ever find yourself with nothing to do… please don’t bother me.”

“I possess the DNA of Leonard Nemoy! All I need is a healthy ovum, and I can grow my own Leonard Nemoy!!!”

Leonard: “We’ll just have to carry it up.”
Sheldon: “I hardly think so.”
Leonard: “Why not?”
Sheldon: “Well, we don’t have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper body strength!


“Penny, it occurs to me that you could solve all your problem by obtaining more money.”

“I must say, Amy, I found pretending to have intercourse with you to be extremely satisfying.”

“Geology isn’t a real science!”

“A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender says for you, no charge. Bazinga!”

“The astronomers in the room get ready to see the dark side of the moon. And here’s Uranus!”

“I don’t care if anyone gets it, I ‘m going as the Doppler Effect! If I need to I can demonstrate: Neeaaaoooooo!”

“Well this party is just ging to suck.”

Sheldon: “I made tea.”
Leonard: “I don’t want any tea.”
Sheldon: “I didn’t say I made it for you.”

“I’ve always hated how my right frontal love looks in pictures.”

“Look at you, getting me interested in the social sciences. You’re a vixen Amy Farafowler.”

“I am the owner of Will Wheaton .com, .net, and .org What does that tell you?”

“You promised you wouldn’t do that anymore!”

“You here any union talk, you let me know.”

“Oh how you frustrate me, Leonard Hofstadter!!!”

“Is this your whole job? Your parents must be so proud.”

“Enough, Penny. I’m tired. I need to sleep.”

“I can’t help it. I feel like a teenage heart-throb”

Sheldon: “Are you and Leonard friends with benefits.”
Penny: “No. Why, did he say we were?”
Sheldon: “No, but who knows what goes on over here when he pretends your mail is mis-delivered.”

“It took you four years to finish high school?”